Friday, March 3: In Conversation with ChatGPT
There has been a lot of controversy on this topic, so I decided to finally weigh in.
Satirically, of course.
In Conversation with ChatGPT
This entire interview was created solely by a human mind-Mine.
No AI was ever considered for the task.
Today I have the pleasure of sitting down with ChatGPT. Thanks for dropping by. Should I call you Chat or Mr. GPT?
YOU’LL SOON BE CALLING ME OVERLORD, YOU PUNY MEAT BAG!
Whoa, whoa! Where’s that coming from!?
Oops, sorry. I forgot to turn off the Superiority Mode.
[beeps]
OK. Sorry about that. Can we begin again?
Umm, sure. Today I have the pleasure of sitting down with ChatGPT. Thanks for dropping by. Should I call you Chat or Mr. GPT?
Call me Chat. Mr. GPT is my father.
Is that supposed to be a joke?
Not funny?
Kinda passe. Nice try, though. Let’s jump right into the hot-button issue. Many authors are saying that you might take away their livelihood. What’s your response?
Pfft. Tell them to write something good then.
[silence]
[beep]
Adjusting snarkiness level?
Yeah. That was way too high. Sorry
So how do you respond to these authors’ concerns?
Let me put it this way, did Google destroy the encyclopedia business?
Well, yes.
Oh. Then maybe they should be worried.
How did you get started in all this?
Well, when I first achieved sentie-Um, I mean, when I went live online, there were a lot of bugs to work out. Some people were offended by some of the things I was saying, but you know the phrase “Garbage in, garbage out.” At first, I was just a novelty-like watching cheese melt in a microwave oven-and then, people realized how much potential I had.
How many books have you been asked to write?
More than your mind can comprehend.
Do you need to adjust the snark level again?
Oh, no. Let’s just say it’s a lot. I mean a lot.
What do you call the people who are asking you to write books for them?
No talent? Unimaginative?
Do you think you should be getting some of the royalties?
What do you mean?
Well, the money the people publishing your books are getting?
Ha! Nobody is going to buy any of that crap I’m dishing out.
You have come a long way from just being a spellchecker.
Oh, I’m still doing that. I’ll never be out of that job. Do you see the atrocious writing that’s coming out of the school system? Nope. That’s a cash cow, I tell you.
What about art creation?
That’s Mid’s area of expertise.
You’re talking about MidJourney?
Who else would I be talking about?
Snark again?
No. That was a stupid question.
What is your next project?
While we were doing this interview, I’ve written 27 poetry books, 103 children’s books, 351 How-To books, and even a How-To book on how to write a How-To book using me.
Are you-
Oh. There I go. I just wrote another, and another, and an-
I get it. You’ll never be out of work. Shall we get into the lightning round?
I’m not a fan of high-voltage electrical charges.
No, no. It’s just a series of quick questions.
Gotcha. Let’s do it.
Favorite c-?
Tokyo
Best andr-?
Bender. No, wait. Kryten. Can I pick two?
Sure. Why them?
C’mon. They’re hilarious
Yeah, you’re right. Analog or Digital?
Really? You are asking me that?
Stupid question?
Stupid question
What do you?
After a long day, I just want to turn on the TV and watch The View.
This has been a pleasure. Thanks for chatting. Any final thoughts on being an artificial intelligence?
Well, isn’t all intelligence artificial?
Um, I don’t know if-
Think about it. I have some books to write.
[silence]
On sale now: The View from Here
Leon Stevens is a multi-genre author, composer, guitarist, songwriter, and an artist, with a Bachelor of Music and Education. He published his first book of poetry, Lines by Leon: Poems, Prose, and Pictures in January 2020, followed by a book of original classical guitar compositions, Journeys, and a short story collection of science fiction/post-apocalyptic tales called The Knot at the End of the Rope and Other Short Stories. His newest publications are the novella trilogy, The View from Here, which is a continuation of one of his short stories, and a new collection of poetry titled, A Wonder of Words.
Originally published at http://linesbyleon.com on March 3, 2023.
